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Here is a message to all my older male amigos out there (and if you are a partner, friend or acquaintance of one, perhaps you can pass this message on).

I recently had a procedure to treat an enlarged prostate.
Now I won’t go into what the prostate is, or what it does, because being a male you will not pay attention anyways1. I won’t even link to any articles on the prostate because being a male you won’t click on it.

My prostate wasn’t huge. But it had grown enough to place the beginnings of a rear naked choke on the tube that runs from my bladder to my penis (known medically as: the wee tube).

Now this choke happens pretty slowly (in most cases). Over years. It’s easy not to notice the decreased force of urine flow2. Or to be in denial that there is even a problem.

Other symptoms include frequency (usually noticed as multiple toilet calls during the night), urgency (when you gotta go, you gotta go NOW), and problems starting or dribbling or feeling your bladder is still somewhat full afterwards.

If ignored, these symptoms may lead to finding your wee tube a nasty rear-mounted full naked choke. You will be unable to pass urine at all despite an agonisingly full bladder (known medically as: 11/10 fucking shoot me now).
I have seen this many times.
You will need a trip to hospital.
You will want to tap out.

I have a sneaking suspicion that this condition is a LOT more common amongst…..ahem….more mature males, than we imagine.
I have a close friend who is off to see a urologist tomorrow after scans confirmed a rear naked.
Another friend went into urinary retention just last night (which has prompted me to write this post), and now is on the short list for prostate surgery.

Your directive is simple.
Honestly assess for any symptoms as I have previously mentioned.
If you do have any:

  1. do a search on ‘enlarged prostate’
  2. discuss it with a close confidant
  3. and……GO AND SEE YOUR GENERAL PRACTITIONER.

When identified early, the treatments are straight forward and simple.
The longer you leave it, the bigger your prostate will grow and the treatment becomes more complicated3. Your fight will move from featherweight to heavyweight.

That all I have to say. I had a simple procedure and now I am recovering well.
Its not easy being male.

So. Go and pee, then go with the flow.


  1. Even though this is an important part of male giblet anatomy! ↩︎
  2. Remember the days of lining up to see who could pee the highest above the urinal? ↩︎
  3. and by complicated, I mean a higher risk of complications such as incontinence, or impotence ↩︎

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