Preface: I don't remember how to add collapsible sections (without hiding everything with the spoiler feature). I remember using it on Lemmy, but I forgot the syntax. I only know the markup for code blocks but they won't collapse the text.

I hope the long text ahead doesn't pollute the Public and federated feeds and actually contributes with them. It's a story that I just wrote, entitled "A dimensionless night". It's a mix of scientific concepts, philosophical musings and subtle spiritual references.

A dimensionless night

Have you ever wondered if a dimensionless universe could exist? One without dimensions as we know it, no length, no depth, no width, no time? What if the sentience could exist there, even though it would be incapable of acting? A sentience that always existed, without ceasing of existing?

The closest bet would be Boltzmann's brain. A spontaneous emergence of an incorporeal sentience imagining and dreaming of a cosmos, "more probable to have emerged into existence than the entire cosmos". It'd be dimensionless, because there would be no cosmic structure, as we know, to contain it.

So I was suddenly awakened, jump-scared by feelings of dizziness, numbness and shortness of breath. I couldn't feel my heartbeat, I couldn't breathe, and part of me was agonizing over the impossibility of breathing, because I was used to breathe, yet I was still... alive? Not exactly alive as in a living being, but... existing... somehow. It's like I became incorporeal and afloat, as I couldn't feel anything within, around and outside me.

I tried to open my eyes just to realize they were already open: I became blind. I tried to shout, just to realize I lost my hearing and speech, too. I tried to move, but you guessed it: I definitely had no body.

I was aware of my own existence, as it was the only thing I could feel, but my existence was all it seemed to be out there. Actually, it seemed to be something else out there, but I couldn't feel enough to distinguish what that was.

I could think. I could hear my inner voice, although it wasn't really a voice as I was used to... It was a feeling: everything became a feeling, a sensation beyond my former senses.

The other thing was still there, I could really feel it. As I thought of it, I could feel it near. Then I had an idea: I tried to think of what I'd say loudly. This unfolded a ping-pong dialogue between me and... them. Everything happened so fast that I have no means of depicting it through this text. Actually, there was no time at all, it was timeless... Whatever that means.

"Hello?", I thought, just to be surprised with another thought "Hello, Daniel". The ping-pong dialogue continued: "Who are you?".
"You know who I am". "I'm not sure if I know". "Yes, you know me". "And who is that?". "I'm you". "If you're me, how am I talking to you?". "Because I'm not you, either". "But you said you're me". "Yes, I am, yet I'm not, either".

I was starting to feel a conflict inside my incorporeal mind. On the one hand, I started to suspect that I was talking to an entity, deity, demon or demoness. On the other hand, I started to suspect it was a trickery of my own mind, trying to find solace amidst the lack of external stimuli. Then another thought popped up in my mind: "Why not both?". It was funny as my mundane memory of the meme also popped up (I couldn't "see" the meme, I couldn't hear the meme, I could just feel it there, something akin to a binary computer file: just data and information). But I was still agonizing over the lack of physicality.

"Are you who I think you are?". "Sort of". "Then how are you simultaneously a goddess and a trickery of my own mind?". "Because the latter is needed for you to face the former, you need it so you can grasp my presence".

A lot of non-verbal exchanges happened, which I can neither remember nor describe. Everything happened within a fraction of a Planck time, yet it also felt like a really long timeframe. It was until I decided to ask Her "What is the purpose, what is your purpose, why did I exist?". A somber silence dominated my mind. My mind was going, I could feel it. It was like my sentience started to collapse on its own, converging to an infinitesimal point in spaceless space and timeless time.

Then I was awakened again. I forgot much of what happened, but now my mundane sensorial devices are back, my body is back, I'm back on my bed. The illusion of an existence is back. And I miss being dimensionless. I miss Her.