defensemirror.com/news/39127/K…

My theory… based on history. Country leaders go to republican presidents with proposals such as, “hey, we want ______ resource in ___<country>___. Play war with us and we’ll bargain a deal.”

RepubPres: “yes! Let’s do this!”
US to Can: join us!
Can: idk. Not right
- - -
(In the past) US: “Look at what they did to us!!?? Arent you good neighbours? I thought Canadians were NICE!”
Can: …. Okay.. i guess we’ll help…
- - -
(Present day) US: “Look at what… ahh.. fk it. {mask comes off} You better help us bomb Gaza.
Can: we dont want anyone bombed. That’s not how we get peace.
US: i’m sick of your nasty KINDNESS, MORALS and BOUNDERIES.
Russia whispers in US’s ear: you should take them over. We can help. We’ll share Ukraine and Canada’s resources.
US whispers back: how do we do this?
Russia whispers: weaken their economy and take over Greenland so you can station yourself there. Then you can invade from three major points. Alaska, along the main border and from Greenland.
US: yeah yeah, best plan i ever heard. The greatest! Russia you’re so reasonable and kind, unlike that nasty Canada!
Canada: oh hell no! We will not help you and #boycott boycott boycott. We are not for sale!
US : *tantrum and tariff tantrum*
Can: (tags in fresh legs Carney) *cold shoulders the US so hard they feel it in Florida*

Ukraine military is there thinking: oh HELL NO TOO. We don’t trust either, US or RUSSIA, as far as we can throw a tank. Cease-fire?? Yeah right. You’ll break it when you’ve lined up your next chess piece. You play dirty, so we will too, until you fk right off.