Was I awake at 3:45am?

Yes.

Was my camera fully charged with the correct lens attached and an SD card at the ready?

Uh huh.

Did I set up my telescope in plenty of time to cool down before totality?

Yep.

Did I appear as a shrouded, ghostly visage on my neighbors' Ring cams as I paced the cul-de-sac in the dark in an off-brand Snuggie?

I can only assume so.

Was there 100% cloud cover that completely blocked any possible glimpse of the moon for the entirety of the eclipse?

*sigh* Also yes.

hr