"If only there had been some warning sign, some mark on him to alert us," said Democratic voter Stacy Verdant. "It's always the ones you least suspect, you know? Looking back, there is just no way anyone could have seen this coming. Why couldn't there be some sort of clue about creeps like this? It's such a shock."
— Babylon Bee, "Dems Wishing There Had Been Some Sort Of Sign That Platner Was A Bad Person"