I do know and love The DarkTower series! I also known The Buried Giant - Ishiguro is one of my fvourite authors. That one left me with lots of questions though.
In the meantime I found a lot of threads on Reddit that deal with similar requests and they had quite a few suggestions.
My theory is that it is easier for publishing houses to simply classify fantasy as a YA genre. It's a nice categorization that works most of the time. I hope they don't turn down many good manuscripts that feature older female protagonists. In the fantasy novels that are popular with men there are many older male protagonists but that's something that is also a well known topic with movies. It has gotten better though, especially in tv series where there are many women 40 plus (mostly very slim and beautiful though). But I digress. 😉

Humor sure is important (these days more than ever, it seems to me). I used to read the Morgaine books by CJ Cherryh in the 1980s but I have no idea if I'd still like them. Recently, I retried some books by Patricia McKilipp but found them a bit boring and didn't even make it through some Tanith Lee books that I adored as a young woman. Some books I can re-read are the Earthsee books by Ursula K. LeGuin, The Lord of the Rings and the SF books by Tanith Lee Don't Bite the Sun and Drinking Sapphire Wine (they are quite funny, too).