It's time to start putting mayonnaise back in potato salad. Look, I know it's a little embarrassing to publicly acknowledge your love for mayo since certain celebrity chefs and food influencers tried to convince us that a sprinkling of red-wine vinegar and a dill leaf was adequate for a potato salad, but I think we can all admit now that it just isn't. It's time to stop pretending that we're above mayo, as if any normal human could reasonably object to a perfect emulsification of salt, fat, and acid to sauce, lightly season, and invigorate just about any savory dish. And don't get me started on the double standard: we all know that “special burger sauce” is at least 50% mayo. Aoli? Mayo. Ranch? Mayo. Caesar dressing? Basically mayo. But the minute you actually put some honest to god, bare-faced mayo on anything everyone is ready to turn their noses up at it, wrinkling their faces in performative disgust as though you've just snorted a line of brown-butter solids. Mayo is everything we're hardwired to crave as a species, but we've been systematically removing this calorie dense satisfaction-bomb from every formerly delicious potluck dish out of simpering compliance to the zeitgeist, and for what? Now pasta salad tastes like a health food. I don't want my goddamn pasta salad to taste like a health food; get that fucking parsley out of here! There is no shame in liking what's good, so put your fancy vinegar the fuck back in the cabinet and bring back salty, acidic, gloopy white “salads” full of fat, mystery, and delight. #food #mayo