If you see something, say something! Call them out and make sure they hear you!
- "Hey! I like your shoes!"
- "Thank you for opening that jar for me!"
- "I'm glad you're here!"
- "Do you need a hug??"
- "The world is better because I know you're in it!"
- "Your hair looks great!"
- "Daamn! Have you been working out?"
- "I hope you have a lovely day!"
You never know which act of kindness will make all the difference to someone, so take every opportunity to be kind. Your kind words today may be why they're still around tomorrow.
Also, it's a great way to make friends.
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Kevin Gamin
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •webhat reshared this.
Jef Poskanzer
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •I see lovely chomnky shoes all the time but it seems like it would be creepy for an older guy to comment on a young woman's clothing. Even shoes.
Sometimes I do compliment a funny t-shirt, they invite commentary.
๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ)
in reply to Jef Poskanzer • • •@jef good rules of thumb when complimenting anyone, but especially femme-folx, are to:
1. compliment choices, not inherent qualities.
2. don't compliment sexualized things.
3. only compliment when they have an easy out.
4. compliments are gifts, not transactions.
5. compliment, then fuck off. They'll stop you if they want to continue the interaction.
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webhat, Jaddy, Susan Calvin, Shannon Prickett, The Witch of Crow Briar, Steven Saus [he/him], tillian (prague arc) ๐ฆ๐ฐ๐ฟ๐ช๐บ, lee, eswillwalker, @shezza_t, BooHooHook, Mike Helmers, Dr. Sobek, Maxi 12x ๐, Iris Volk, Emily Vale, Gendermancer, Em, Daniel โ, May likes Toronto, Jules she/her, lj·rk, Tyrone Slothrop, klara_tag, Vicomte Folmer and Cassandrich reshared this.
Emily Vale, Gendermancer
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •@Willow this is perfect, including the tone. "Compliment then fuck off" is so great. People can trust that you mean it if you don't default to sticking around to reap the appreciation.
(Edit: how the hell did I get the k at the end? ๐)
Cassandrich reshared this.
Gavia Immer
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Jules she/her reshared this.
fritzoids
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •@jef
So, on a train or on a bus: Wait until it's your stop. Let the doors open. Say "Great shoes!" or similar. Get off the train / bus.
Same for elevator.
Compliment just as you are leaving.
(and because some people did not get the memo: do not compliment someone from inside your car. Especially if they are on foot.)
The Orange Theme
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Emily Vale, Gendermancer
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Jef Poskanzer
in reply to Emily Vale, Gendermancer • • •Em
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •mewes
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •BoTheMagnificent
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •@jef A couple of these would earn me a visit with HR or worse:
- "Do you need a hug??"
- "Daamn! Have you been working out?"
Your list of suggestions for how to deliver compliments is great, though.
Kevin Gamin
Unknown parent • • •Fritz Adalis
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •If someone compliments my shoes then I'm going to wear only those shoes forever.
ใฑใฌใ ใใ ๐ดโโ ๏ธ ใคใฉในใ
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Cindy
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR๐โฃโฃ๐
Seth Galitzer
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Big Ben
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •I once drove by a construction worker who appeared to be a woman. She was holding the โslowโ sign and dancing and appeared to be having a good time with it.
I had my windows rolled down and wanted to cheer her on as I drove by. What came out was โwhoooooooo!!โ
The immediate moment after I was filled with regret because I realized I just cat-called her
Tamtam
Unknown parent • • •It's a great hedge against potential depression. You can't argue with love. It's just there. The healthiest thing in the world.
Lou ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •bdf2121cc3334b35b6ecda66e471
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •sanpan
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Tattie
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Dziadek Mick ๐ธ๐ฉ ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ ๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ ๐บ๐ฆ
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •webhat
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •AYA๐ค
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •ljยทrk
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •webhat reshared this.
Halloween Themed Name
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Michael
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Michael
in reply to Michael • • •Insecurity Princess ๐๐๐ฅ
in reply to Michael • • •@seven_708
When you share basic compliments like "amazing shoes/hair" with no expectation and from a safe distance (avoiding perception of attempting physical contact or physical intimidation), most people will appreciate hearing that
Anyone who doesn't either isn't a good person to talk to or isn't in a good place at that time, or maybe they have some fears and trauma โ but that's okay. Sometimes getting a response out of fear doesn't mean you did anything wrong, but that someone else needs to see healthy communication and consent to help them recognize and accept relative safety when it exists.
Lydia Schoch
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •ยกAbbie!
in reply to Tamtam • • •@alice
Kelcie (She/They)
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Natasha Ekara
Unknown parent • • •Me and my Arrow
Unknown parent • • •Jules she/her
Unknown parent • • •EndlessMason
Unknown parent • • •"I love your pants"
Pause
"You too?"
StarkRG
in reply to EndlessMason • • •@EndlessMason @sillyCoelophysis @Willow @jef
Acceptable responses to "I like your pants":
"Thanks! They have pockets."
"Thanks, I got them at a thrift shop."
Unacceptable responses:
"Thanks! I bet a homeless man $20 that he couldn't do a lap around the park without pants and ran off while he was halfway around."
nellie-m
in reply to Tamtam • • •@Tamtam
Someone I met in front of a supermarket during a holiday, and had a brief but really nice conversation with, finally gave me a big smile and a hug saying โdo enjoy yourself todayโ.
I took that instruction with me, and tried to follow it, and I think of it often. This happened during a really difficult time in my life, and it was like a pivotal moment of healing for me. Literally life-changing.
When I read an encouragement like โdonโt underestimate the power of kindnessโ this is where my mind goes: that huge smile, that moment of appreciation, that instruction to enjoy just this one precious day today - and then another one, and another one.
Niamh Garvey reshared this.
Bytebro ๐ฌ๐ง ๐บ๐ฆ ๐
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •zvavybir
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •cognitively accessible math
in reply to Jules she/her • • •Yup ๐ ๐
I get very frequent compliments: "NICE HAT!!!" (my helmet w/ reindeer) and "YOU'RE A ROCK STAR!!!"
Yes, I usually say "thank you!!!" (When they holler "I LOVE YOU!!! Parkland! College!!" (where I tutor math) I was too gobsmacked, esp. since I'd just ducked from traffic lane to bike lane and rather expected a different invective).
Infrapink (he/his/him)
Unknown parent • • •@Lizette603_23 @jef
Vampires?
kwayk42
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •keeptruckin
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Cat ๐๐ฅ (D.Burch)
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •๐ป Furbland's Very Spooky Account™ ๐ป reshared this.
B'ad Samurai
Unknown parent • • •@antijingoist
๐ The world needs more Fedi irl
@alice
Ben Rush
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •B'ad Samurai
Unknown parent • • •Love that! Is that a CH/Frelard movement or happenstance? I trade more Signal than Fedi atm
@antijingoist
Joe W
in reply to Jules she/her • • •Emilio สฬกฬขฬกสฬ อออกสฬฒฬ สฬขฬกฬข๐ฉ๐ฐ
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •zrb
Unknown parent • • •The Sleight Doctor ๐๐
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Caveat for cishet men: make sure you've enough rapport first before complimenting a woman you hardly know, even if it's sincere and well-meant. It can too easily come across as a creepy come-on.
*You* may be a genuine and decent fella, but it's quite entitled to expect a woman to have that as her default assumption about you. ๐๐ผ
elena ๐ฉโ๐ป
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Like so many other "taken for granted" social/emotional stuff:
Both giving and receiving compliments are skills that needs to be learned and worked on.
They're skill mature, successful adults and leaders have and work on.
NB: know how to take a compliment too: Say thank you, say you were working on that or you took extra effort, that you're grateful. See the other person back.
Let's make it all better together through empathy, kindness and the many forms of love and respect.
Tobias ๐๐๐
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •โจstarlight ghostโจ
Unknown parent • • •SierraKomodo
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Deven Phillips
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Mesh - Be Kind (With Lyrics)
Synth Heaven (YouTube)Em
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Rachel Rawlings
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •Heathen ๐
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •WardenRed
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •ember
in reply to ๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) • • •I am so anxious about weirding people out and plan it for tje moment im parting lie
I love your tattoos as i go down the stairs on tje bus so they know tjey dont needn5o be near me if its weird
(But yes! Do say cos I think folks appreicate it)