I have never been one that needed to have all the praise. I didn’t need the glamour of becoming a social star in any way. But, I will admit that I always have enjoyed the likes, the boosts, and the comments. The interactions made by others, based on something I made and shared… It made me feel special in a way. Especially when people told me that my post helped them, in some way.

Maybe it gave them some answers to a question they were dealing with. Maybe it gave them a smile on a day where things seemed sad. Maybe it just gave them a bit of distraction when they needed to relax and unwind. I always have been honest, saying that I share things for me, and when it can help others in any way, that is just a very positive and welcome extra.

When you write something, you do hope that someone will take the time and efforts to read the bit. When you take a picture or shoot a video, and you post it online, you also hope that people will see it. And, in a way, you would like to be “told” that they saw it, that they maybe even liked it, that it maybe helped them in any way. And, with social media, it’s quite easy to let someone know… You can press the like button. Sometimes it’s a star, or a heart, ot something else. But, most social media platforms have a way to like something that someone else shared.

It’s even more special, when someone presses a “boost” button, sharing your post through their channels. And, to top it all, someone leaving a sweet/positive comment…

I know from experience that commenting on things can be harder. Others can read your words. It makes you more visible to others. And, sometimes it can feel hard to find the right words to reply to something someone shared that you enjoyed in some way. That’s also the reason why I usually stick to liking and/or boosting things. It shows the original poster that you saw their post, and that you liked/appreciated it in some way. And with a boost, it shows that you liked it so much, that you want your friends to see it as well…

flic.kr/p/2sfFAyM

I share a lot of things online. My blog posts, my toots on Mastodon, my pictures on Pixelfed and Flickr, and my videos to PeerTube. People can follow me there, see my posts, interact with them. I have never been really popular with my posts/shares, but I did “meet” some folks along the way, some of whom I regard as true friends. Or, as I often call them, my pocket friends. 😇

I always like it when I see notifications from my social media apps. People liking what I shared, it’s such a good feeling. I can understand, up to a point, how these so-called influencers can get a kick out of it. But, I only share “real stuff” (I know I share AI stuff, but I’ll explain, gimme a sec… 😉). I don’t make content to gain clout, as they say.

Gaining clout on social media refers to the process of increasing one’s influence, popularity, or reputation within an online community.
Essentially, “clout” is social capital—it is the measurement of how much attention, authority, or “say” you have on a platform. When someone is “chasing clout,” they are actively trying to increase their visibility to become more well-known or respected by a wider audience.

I’ve never really had a post go viral, I think the most likes one of my posts ever got, was around 300-350?? And that felt so weird, all the buzzing my phone did with all the notifications… Sure, it was good to know that people liked what I shared. But it was just so “unlike” me, and the posts I usually share, and the attentiont they get.

Still, getting that like, being boosted, getting comments/replies… It feels nice. It feels like you’re being appreciated. And, as someone who has never really had that kind of positive attention, it helps me to feel good about myself. I know, it sounds selfish, and maybe it is. But I am being totally honest, and admitting this is part of it all. 😇

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So, when you’re on social media, and you see something that you like, that you enjoy, that you agree on… Give it that like! Or, boost it! Or, when you have the spoons, comment to it! The original poster may enjoy the little bit of attention more than you may ever begin to realize… Just one click can mean so much to someone else…

Thank you for your interest in my blog. I really appreciate your visit. If you like my posts and you want to share them on your social media, please, feel free to do so! I’d be honored. If you don’t want to miss a thing, press the follow button (you’ll need to be a signed in WP user) or you can follow me though the FediVerse with the link below, or scroll down and leave your email below this post. If you are a WP user and you would like me to know you liked my post, press the star/like button please. You can also comment when you see this post as a Toot on the Fediverse, and I’ll be notified of that as well. Thanks ever so much! Of course comments are welcome, but spam won’t get shared, so don’t bother with that…

Please be wise and stay safe! I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹

flic.kr/p/2qCtAEn

I am living on a disability income and don’t generate an income with my blog. If you would like to support me and my work, I’d greatly appreciate it. Every bit helps me tremendously. For more information and a donation link, please check out ko-fi.com/PlaystationPixy

If you prefer to use PayPal, that’s also a possibility: PayPal.me/CynniPixy

Thanks ever so much 💜

Everybody has to deal with rules. Some as strict as the law. Some are rules set by parents, schools, employers, and even friends and other family. There are the written and unwritten once, the variables between different sets of people and circumstances. But the rules I am writing about at this moment, they are the rules for my (new) dog. 🐾

Every dog has his/her own personality. They all have things they love to do, hate to do, are great or bad at doing… But, a dog’s life also means that he usually lives with people. And those people have rules, expectations, and things they love or hate to do. And, when we take on the responsibility of living with a dog, caring for a dog, loving a dog… It also means we are setting rules and boundaries for that dog, so that they will hopefully grow up to be the best companion we could ever wish for.

I always had my own rules. They sometimes varied, depending on the circumstances. Different dogs, different parts of my journey in life, living with others that also have a say over the dog… When I divorced, and was able to keep Arwen with me, things changed…

Of course I didn’t change all the rules that Arwen had known during the first few years that she lived with me and the now ex. But, I had my own ways, and slowly, Arwen adjusted to them. She never seemed to mind, and at times, she seemed to flourish better when she was allowed all that I offered her. She turned out to be the best companion, the most loyal furry soulmate, that I had ever had in my life. She’s been gone got about 11 months now, and I still miss her like crazy…

But now, there is a new dog in my life. A beautiful chocolate Labrador boy named Koa Koolani. Originally, I was “getting” myself another gall again. But, the second gall pup wasn’t strong enough… 😢 And she passed away just after her birth. Things were sad and I was so down, and then came the news that a boy had become available. It wasn’t what I had been “getting ready” for, but after a short while, I accepted him to become my boy. 6 weeks of waiting until they had their name-days. Then two weeks of bonding with my boy, before he was allowed to come home with me.

And, as I start writing this, he’s been with me for 4 weeks now. When this post will be all done and ready for sharing, it will be closer to 7 weeks. But, the “point” I am writing about will still me the same: setting the rules for my young dude…

I never had a male puppy. And I never had a dog that had been characterized as being an alpha type of personality.

The “alpha dog” concept largely stemmed from outdated 1970s studies on unrelated, captive wolves forced to live together, which showed high levels of aggression and competition. When applied to domestic dogs, the “alpha” label became a catch-all for a specific set of behaviors.
While modern veterinary behaviorists and trainers avoid the term because it implies a flawed desire for “dominance” over humans, classic puppy aptitude tests (like the Volhard Puppy Aptitude Test) and traditional trainers did look for specific character traits when slapping on the “alpha” label.
A male dog labeled as an “alpha” typically exhibits a combination of high confidence, low compliance, and intense environmental sensitivity.

Key Character Traits Labeled as “Alpha”

1. High Assertiveness and Social Confidence

These dogs are entirely self-assured in new environments and around new stimuli.

• The Trait: They don’t look to humans or other dogs for reassurance. When entering a new room, they march right in with a high tail carriage and erect ears, immediately exploring the perimeter.
• In Testing: During a “social attraction” or “following” test, an “alpha” puppy doesn’t just follow the tester with a wagging tail; they might walk ahead, ignore the tester entirely, or bite at their shoes and tug on their pant legs rather than greeting them submissively.

2. High Resistance to Physical Restraint (Low Submission)

This is the single biggest marker used in traditional puppy testing to identify a dominant or “alpha” personality.

• The Trait: Extreme resistance to being handled, physically guided, or restricted.
• In Testing: In an “elevation test” (cradling the puppy off the ground) or an “inversion test” (gently holding the puppy on its back), a typical puppy might struggle briefly and then accept it. A puppy labeled “alpha” will fight fiercely, growl, rigidify its body, and attempt to bite the tester’s hands to regain control. They do not yield easily to physical pressure.

3. Intense Resource Valuation (Possessiveness)

What looks like “dominance” is often an incredibly high drive to possess and guard items.

• The Trait: High possessiveness over food, toys, sleeping spaces, or even preferred people.
• In Testing: If a tester tries to take a toy away or touches the puppy while eating, an “alpha-labeled” dog responds with an immediate, stiff body posture, staring, growling, or snapping. They value their resources intensely and are willing to use force to keep them.

4. Low Tendency to Please (Independent Motivation)

These dogs are not inherently motivated by human praise or attention; they are motivated by what they want out of a situation.

• The Trait: High independence and low compliance. They are highly intelligent but use that intelligence to problem-solve for their own benefit rather than figuring out what the human wants.
• In Testing: During a retrieval test, they might chase the object, grab it, and run away to a corner to chew it alone, actively resisting any commands to bring it back.

5. High Sensitivity to Movement and Correction

Rather than backing down when corrected or startled, these dogs naturally tend to move toward the pressure or threat.

• The Trait: If startled by a sudden noise or an umbrella opening, instead of hiding or freezing, an “alpha” personality dog is more likely to bark, charge, or aggressively investigate the object.

What Science Tells Us They Actually Are

When behaviorists look at dogs historically labeled as “alphas,” they rarely see a dog trying to “rule the household.” Instead, they usually diagnose one of two things:

• The Truly Confident, High-Drive Working Dog: A dog with incredible genetic stamina, high toy/prey drive, and immense confidence. These dogs need a clear job and highly consistent, positive boundaries, or they will simply run the household out of boredom.
• The Fear-Aggressive or Insecure Dog: Ironically, many adult dogs labeled “alpha” by their owners because they growl or snap are actually deeply insecure. A truly confident dog rarely needs to display aggression; it is the anxious dog that uses offensive postures to force people and other animals to stay away.
  Today, rather than calling these dogs “alpha,” behaviorists use more accurate terms like high-status, highly independent, resilient, or resource-protective.

After spending several weeks with Koa, I recognize some of the traits mentioned, but not all of them. He can be confident, but he can also have a big “nope” when it comes to certain types of new things. But he is very strong willed, and I have to make sure that I follow the rules that I want him to learn. I sometimes catch myself making exceptions, and I know this is not what Koa needs most from me.

I sometimes feel weird, setting rules over Koa. My brain goes like: you want a dog, but you want it to be a “modified” one, not able to live his own way of life. I sometimes think that it’s mean to not allow Koa to do all sorts of things. While I know that a dog with proper rules and structure will grow to be a happier and more stable dog (most of the times). I know I felt this way with Arwen and Chance as well, but then, it wasn’t just me raising the pups, and we discussed the rules, so it felt less like me being mean.

I know I am not mean. I know I allow quite a few things, but not the bad/damaging/dangerous ones. Heck, as I mentioned in an earlier post, I even feel like a bad person when I crate Koa several times a day… But still, I know it’s to protect both him and me, and my skin and things. Still, setting up rules, restricting Koa in ways, it sometimes just makes me feel like a mean person.

Because I struggled with these feelings and emotions, I asked Gemini about it. And, it confirmed what I was already thinking. I know that AI makes mistakes, but when it confirms what I was thinking, besides the “I don’t like being mean to Koa” bits, I think I am doing a good enough “job” with my little dude. I asked Gemini this question: “Does setting stricter rules with a puppy make for a happier dog as he matures? I heard that dogs can thrive when they know their boundaries and what is expected of them. But sometimes I feel like a mean person when I set rules for Koa and when I have to crate him several times.”.

Setting strict rules doesn’t make you a mean person—it actually provides a massive amount of mental relief for a puppy.
Dogs are inherently cooperative animals, but a human household is full of bizarre, unnatural rules to them (like not chewing on furniture or not greeting guests by launching into the air). When a puppy doesn’t have clear, consistent boundaries, they have to constantly guess what the right behavior is. That guessing game causes anxiety.
Clear boundaries aren’t about being harsh; they are about predictability. When Koa knows exactly where the lines are, his world becomes predictable, and a predictable world is a safe, stress-free world.
Here is how structure actually builds a happier adult dog, and why that crate is your best friend right now.

Why Boundaries Equal Freedom

It sounds counterintuitive, but the puppies with the tightest boundaries often grow into the adults with the most freedom. If you practice loose boundaries now… If you practice clear boundaries now… The puppy constantly tests limits to find where the line actually is, leading to frustration for both of you. The puppy learns the “rules of the game” quickly, leading to fewer corrections and more positive reinforcement. As an adult, the dog can’t be trusted off-leash, around guests, or left alone in the house. As an adult, the dog earns the freedom to go anywhere because their baseline behavior is reliable.

The “Mean” Crate Myth

Feeling guilty about crating Koa is incredibly common, but it helps to look at it through a canine lens rather than a human one.
To a human, a crate looks like a restriction of freedom. To a puppy, a properly introduced crate is a den.

• Puppies need an absurd amount of sleep: A young puppy needs around 18 to 20 hours of sleep a day. Left to their own devices, they will often override their own tiredness, become overtired, and morph into a land-shark (nipping, barking, zooming).
• The crate is a biological off-switch: Just like a toddler, a puppy often needs to be put in a quiet space to finally close their eyes. Enforced naps in the crate aren’t a punishment; they are essential for their brain development and emotional regulation.
• Safety when unsupervised: Crating Koa when you can’t watch him keeps him from eating something dangerous or forming bad habits (like chewing baseboards) while your back is turned.

The Expert Take: You aren’t locking him away; you are protecting him from his own curiosity and giving his nervous system a chance to rest.

Reframing “Strict” to “Consistent”

Instead of thinking of yourself as “strict,” try shifting the word to “consistent.”
Being strict implies severity or harshness, which you don’t need at all. Being consistent just means that the rules don’t change based on your mood. If Koa isn’t allowed on the couch on Tuesday, he shouldn’t be allowed on the couch on Friday just because it’s the weekend. Changing the rules confuses them; keeping them identical every day is the kindest thing you can do.
You are doing a great job. Setting boundaries now is an investment in making Koa a confident, relaxed, and welcome companion everywhere he goes as an adult.

It feels weird still, that I am in this “powerful” position, to decide what someone else, a dog in this case, is allowed to do. And, I even control when he is allowed certain things, or when he needs to do certain things. Maybe it’s the power thing that I am struggling with, because I don’t feel really comfortable being in such a position, in “ruling” over a life in this way. But, I know that Koa needs it, and that I need it s well. And I know that Arwen turned out to be a GREAT gall in all ways possible… So… I am trying to be confident that I have what it takes to make Koa’s life a good one too…

To be continued…

Thank you for your interest in my blog. I really appreciate your visit. If you like my posts and you want to share them on your social media, please, feel free to do so! I’d be honored. If you don’t want to miss a thing, press the follow button (you’ll need to be a signed in WP user) or you can follow me though the FediVerse with the link below, or scroll down and leave your email below this post. If you are a WP user and you would like me to know you liked my post, press the star/like button please. You can also comment when you see this post as a Toot on the Fediverse, and I’ll be notified of that as well. Thanks ever so much! Of course comments are welcome, but spam won’t get shared, so don’t bother with that…

Please be wise and stay safe! I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹

flic.kr/p/2qCtAEn

I am living on a disability income and don’t generate an income with my blog. If you would like to support me and my work, I’d greatly appreciate it. Every bit helps me tremendously. For more information and a donation link, please check out ko-fi.com/PlaystationPixy

If you prefer to use PayPal, that’s also a possibility: PayPal.me/CynniPixy

Thanks ever so much 💜