Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

A few months ago, I started a Matrix chat group, called "Our Journey".

I was/am new to using matrix and hosting a group, but some sweet folks were curious and they've joined. And it's been a lot of fun so far...

It's a chat without any main topic, but we do try to keep politics and religion out of it. We discuss our journey through life, with its ups and downs.

It's a place where you can vent, where you can chat safely, where you can get support, or share silly pet snaps. (I'm guilty of that from time to time 😇).

Our Journey on Matrix

Do feel free to join if you'd like. We don't mind if you want to lurk from time to time, but please do introduce yourself when you join, even when you don't know if you'll be staying. We'd like to know who we have in our midst. 😊 Most of us added (one of) our FediVerse handle to our user names, so you know who we are on the Fediverse.

There are people from Europe and Canada (as far as I know), so chats happen at different times. Sometimes it's busy sometimes it's quiet...

Have a lovely weekend folks 💜 and maybe we'll see you on Matrix. 😊

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

#PixysJourney
#OurJourneyMatrixChat

A while ago, I was wondering about my gender, and I came across the term Autigender.

Cynni's Blog - Sexuality and gender

And for some reason, I've been thinking about this again. As I'm single and not active in the dating scene, I don't know if it's really something I should "worry" about. I'm just me... But then, as said, some days, I just wonder who that me is...

When I came across the term Autigender it kinda made sense. As I never had felt like I was "all female". Sure, I looked like one (with some of the annoying things as well, I could have done without the periods, and the start of the peri-menopause is here as well), but I never really felt like one... But I also didn't really feel like a man either, although in some aspects, I was a bit bummed about not being one...

I just wanted to be me, and enjoy all the things. But, back then, things were definitely more "gender assigned". I once got a Barbie and I hated it. I got a HotWheels car toy, and I loved it! 😂

But yeah, I was just wondering about it now... And I wondered if more people had heard about the term, and if they maybe felt like this as well... 🤔

Ah well... I am... Me... And I guess that's as weird as it will get 😂

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

#PixysJourney
#Autigender

Cynni's Blog

2022-11-30 06:00:23

Sexuality and gender

Re-discovering who I really am.

Content warning: I will write about well, as the title says, sexuality and gender. All content is written from my own perspective ,my own feelings and experiences. I am not sharing this with intent of causing anyone any distress or harm. But if texts about these topics may upset you, best to skip this post. Hope to see you back at one of my many other posts on this blog site.

I was born as a girl. I had the body of a girl, the voice of a girl and I always saw myself as one. Growing up in the 80’s, things like gender were more black and white. You were either a male or a female. There was nothing else… Well, there were people who felt different, but it’s been shunned for a long time. The first reports of transsexuals in our country date from the 50’s. 1950’s that is… There’s nothing really known about it prior to WWII. So while there were trans people, like there were lesbians and gays, it wasn’t a topic being talked about a lot.

First time I became aware was when I saw the Dame Edna show. And when Freddie Mercury announced he was gay, later to be followed by starts like Elton John.

My parents never had anything against what we now call the LGBTQ+ people. They always talked openly about this. When I started my teens, I realized I wasn’t just heterosexual. People always assumed I would start liking and dating boys. But here I was, having huge crushes on both boys and girls. I felt like I never really loved a gender, I loved a person. But, most of my relationships were with men, so I was always seen as CIS female hetero. I never knew why those labels were so important, but they only seemed to have grown more important.

I do love how awareness has grown and shown us there are more genders, there are more sexualities, than I knew while growing up. I have been with a male, I have been married to a female. I have called myself a bisexual, because I dated both genders. Yes, there are more, BUT I see this a little differently. I still don’t really see genders, I just see people living their lives.

How someone portrays themselves is how I see them. Maybe there’s a penis, maybe there are boobs, maybe this person isn’t interested in sexuality, maybe they feel like they’re neither man or woman. And that’s where I have had some doubts as well.

Growing up with the black and white offset, I learned to think in male-female roles. But even though my body is a female one, I never really felt like a woman. I don’t like makeup, I hate dresses, I never felt the urge of my womb to have children. I love men’s clothing. I love my very short hair. I barely have any boobs and am often seen as a man. And while I used to be offended by people calling me sir, I now get it. I think…

I don’t fit in the female box, besides my body, because I don’t affirm the “gender roles”. I don’t fit in the male box, as I don’t have the body. I don’t feel like I am both. I don’t feel non-binary. And then I learned there was/is a gender name that came from neurodifferent people, especially autistics. It’s called “Autigender”.

I tried to Google it and many sites use terms that make my head go round. For a non-native-English person, the English terms can be a bit hard to grasp. Even as I already struggle with many in my own language… But I stayed on Google and found a few bits of explanation that I did understand.

I had never heard of “Neurogender”, or “Autigender” until I joined the Neurodifferent server on Mastodon. I became very interested as I was still looking for something that would suit me way better than the more generic “cis fem bi” bit, as I was seen most now.

So I’m looking. Asking about it. I understand it’s not easy for everyone to talk about it. But what I’ve read about autigender, it does suit many of my feelings. I have also read about people thinking you’d use your autism as a sexuality or gender and that’s wrong. But the way I experience people, I do think it’s very much intertwined with my autism. I see people. Not black and white. But in color, different, unique. I don’t see a gender, a sexuality, a cubicle that they need to fit in.

I’m all for exploring yourself. The only things I’m really against is with animals or underage people. That’s just a big nope to me.

Do you experience Neurogender or autigender? How does it feel for you? I really would love to learn more about it. If you don’t like sharing here but you’re on Mastodon, please find me there as @Cynni thanks!

I would love to learn and understand all the genders, the people behind them. I’m afraid I’ll never get it all, but I do wish to be inclusive, understanding and supportive. I know how it’s feels to search for your true self so… Yeah…

I also found this a very informative site: gaysifamily.com/lifestyle/bein….

Thank you for your interest in my blog. I really appreciate your visit. If you like my posts and you want to share them on your social media, please, feel free to do so! I’d be honored. If you don’t want to miss a thing, press the follow button (you’ll need to be a signed in WP user) or scroll down and leave your email below this post. If you are a WP user and you would like me to know you liked my post, press the star/like button please. Thanks ever so much! Of course comments are welcome as well, but spam won’t get shared, so don’t bother…

Please be wise and stay safe! I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹

---

I am living on a disability income and don’t generate an income with my blog. If you would like to support me and my work, I’d greatly appreciate it. Every bit helps me tremendously. For more information and a donation link, please check out ko-fi.com/PlaystationPixy

If you prefer to use PayPal, that’s also a possibility: PayPal.me/SuperCynni

Thanks ever so much ♥

Are You Autigender? Here's What It Means, and How to Tell.

Some autistic people embrace the “autigender” label to express that their gender identity—usually, something other than cisgender—is related to their autism.

^{Suzannah Weiss (Men's Health)}

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

I just love the moon. Maybe it's one of the reasons that I am such a night owl... It calms me. It guides me. It gives a brightness to the darkness, but one that is not too bright for my eyes. The moon is such a beautiful creation, and I can never get enough of it. 🌕

I love the night. It's calmer then. Less busy. Less pressured. Lazy, maybe, in a way. Less sensitivity issues for me. I only miss that I'm not able to pop into a store and get my groceries on before most of the folks get up and about... That would be even more fantastic, for a nightly creature 🧛🏻‍♀️ like me...

The moon was rather bright just now. But I wonder if I'll be able to see anything of the blood moon this early morning, as the moon is slowly getting lower, and then it will be behind the sound barrier that's between us and the highway.

Hopefully I can see (and maybe) capture some of the blood moon... Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

#Moon #Night

Been busy on writing things for my blog... I always like to have posts ready in advance, because some days, I just can't seem to write anything, and other days, I can't seem to stop...

I made a screenshot of the upcoming posts. They should be shared every day around 7AM CET. There is a Masto account that drops the posts, which can be followed here: @Cynni's Blog

I asked Bing to create an Alt text for this image. As I'm still not sure how to add them properly here, I'll add the text in this post here:

The image is a screenshot of a mobile application displaying a list of scheduled blog posts under the section "Berichten" (which translates to "Messages" in Dutch). The screen is divided into four tabs at the top: "GEPUBLICEERD" (Published), "CONCEPTEN" (Drafts), "GEPLAND" (Scheduled), and "VERWIJDERD" (Deleted), with the "GEPLAND" tab currently selected. Each entry in the list includes a date, title, a brief excerpt or description, and a thumbnail image. The posts are scheduled from March 9th to April 10th. The titles and excerpts include topics such as "SilentSunday," reviews, personal reflections, and quotes. Each post also includes a link to a Flickr image. The thumbnails are colorful and varied, depicting abstract art, book covers, and other images. The list is scrollable, and a plus button at the bottom right corner suggests the option to add a new post.

**Brief Description:**
The image shows a list of scheduled blog posts in a mobile application, highlighting the variety of content planned for publication. This is interesting as it provides insight into the organization and planning of blog content, showcasing different themes and topics that will be covered in the future.

There are no posts scheduled for the Tuesdays. That's because then, I have my "Journal" posts, and I can't finish them until Monday end of the afternoon/Tuesday night. It's a bit hard to write in advance about things that have not happened yet. Hihi, my glass globe 🔮 isn't that good, even though my routine will make some things more predictable.

Well... Today is Sunday, so in a few minutes, my #SilentSunday post will go live. Often it takes a few minutes before it's visible to the Fedi timelines... 😇

Hope you'll all have a lovely day today! ☀️ Today should be one of the last sunny days here for a while, with a max temp of about 16°C.

Catch you later folks!

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

#PixysJourney

#AmWriting #Blog #WordPress

I've shared some snaps of Arwen on Mastodon and later also on Pixelfed. Some, I've been sharing here since I've joined Friendica.

Because I feel like it, I'll just share a snap of Arwen that I really like... Hope you will like it too... 🐾 💜

It's not a glamor shot. It's not one where she's silly or weird. This is one where she was a trooper!

This was taken almost a year ago, on March 11th. Arwen had some surgery, to remove a few very annoying/disrupting warts and wild flesh growths. She really did super well! I was a wreck for two weeks, as I slept on the couch with her, as she never really warns me when she needs something. She just waits for me to "magically" appear and do it for her then...

Alt text by Bing: A close-up image of a brown dog wearing a transparent plastic cone, often referred to as an Elizabethan collar or e-collar. The dog's face shows signs of recent surgery or injury, with visible stitches and some swelling around the left eye. The collar has a label that reads "BUSTER Dog Collar Classic Transparent 25 cm." The background is a blurred indoor setting with some colorful objects visible. This image shows a brown dog wearing a transparent plastic cone, commonly used to prevent pets from licking or scratching wounds. The dog appears to have had recent surgery or an injury, as indicated by the stitches and swelling around its left eye.

#DogsOfMastodon #Dog #Arwen #Labradorable

Been working on my blog a bit. 😊

Next focus should be to create some new Thursday Quote posts and Silent Sunday posts. Those seem like short and easy ones, but the usually take up some time. I try to create the quote images, with help from Bing AI, Pixlr and AddText. The Sunday ones, I need to find a good image and make sure I add the Alt text to it as well. 😊

The quote ones I usually make on my phone, as it has all the apps I need to make them. The silent Sunday ones are usually a mix of phone and laptop. 😊

Hopefully, I'll be able to visit the zoo some more again, as animals make quite nice subjects for the Silent Sunday posts... Or, at least I like to think so...

Currently riding the hometrainer some. But my leg isn't all in it, which is annoying. 😔 So I'll probably head down soon, work on my blog a bit and then have some food... Walk with Arwen, and seeing the vacation of bestie is over, she'll probably call me again on her way to her job...

Hopefully I can get some cleaning done after that, before I have to leave the house again.

I'll head to Lidl around 7:45, as it should open at 8, and I wanna be early. Hopefully they'll have all I need and I'll be done quick and all that.

~~~
Alt text by Bing:

The screenshot depicts the interface of a mobile application tailored for blog management, presented in Dutch. At the top of the screen, the header reads "Berichten" (Messages), with three navigational tabs: "GEPLAND" (Scheduled), "CONCEPTEN" (Drafts), and "VERWIJDERD" (Deleted). The "GEPLAND" tab is active, as indicated by its bold formatting. Below, a chronological list of scheduled blog posts is displayed, with each entry consisting of a publication date, a title, a snippet of the content, and a thumbnail image.

The posts are organized from March 2nd to March 21st and showcase a variety of themes. Notable entries include:

• 2 March: "#FitIn2025 - February edition" with a reflection on personal progress in the first month of the year.
• 5 March: "Brain is everywhere! 🧠" discussing the emotional impact of an upcoming surgery.
• 7 March: "At the zoo 🦁," expressing enthusiasm for zoo visits and mentioning conservation efforts.
• 8 March: "Gaming again 🎮," an admission of casual gaming enjoyment and embracing 'baby settings.'
• 10 March: "Observe, adapt, adjust," reflecting on finding routine after a move.
• 12 March: "Review - Teufel NC headphones 🎧," hinting at a detailed review of the product and its service.
• 15 March: "Silly 'little' feelings," describing personal hopes tied to previous living situations.
• 19 March: "Heading towards spring 🌻," anticipating the arrival of spring in early March.

Other entries are hashtag-driven, such as "#SilentSunday" on multiple dates, or feature external links like the "Thursday Book Quote" post on March 6th. Each snippet conveys the unique and personal voice of the author, aiming to engage readers with a mix of personal anecdotes, reflections, and thematic explorations. The user interface is clean and structured, supporting effective blog management.
~~~

Well, the upcoming blog posts are usually shared around 7AM CET. There is a Fedi account that shares the post, well a preview with a link to it, and I usually try to boost it when I can from here. 😉

Hope you're all having a good start of the new week. They say that our weather should be a bit more lovely the next two weeks, so fingers crossed 🤞🏻 for that... 😇

Catch you all later folks!

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

#PixysJourney

#AmWriting #Blog #WordPress

Hello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

A few weeks ago, I shared a Toot on Beige with the updated Kofi goal, to help Arwen (and me) with her meds. The toot can be found here:
Beige Toot of Kofi for Arwen's meds
Next week on Friday, she'll need another injection 💉, which costs about €80.
I just had to buy her supplements for her joints, which was €90 for the next 120 days....
I love Arwen dearly, and I'll do all I can to help her. But with a disability income, it can be challenging to make ends meet, especially with these extra costs for my sweetheart.

I know times are hard! I know many people struggle to make ends meet. And I feel some shame in sharing this link, as I feel I should be able to provide for my love, without asking/needing help... But it is as it is, and I am asking...

I hope that you won't judge me for reaching out. And I understand that more people, like me, are trying to make ends meet... So please don't feel bad if you'd love to help, but you're not financially able to. A boost from this post is also a help, and it only costs a few seconds of your time. 😊

Fankoos 🫶🏻 in advance for your help and support. Arwen and I really appreciate it 🐾💜.

#MutualAid #DareToAsk #DogsOfMastodon

Pixy's Journey

2025-02-02 01:49:18

new Ko-fi goal to help with Arwen's vet bills...

ko-fi.com/playstationpixy/goal…

I'm doing my best to make ends meet. I know that I've bought some things for myself lately... But not as much as I'd like to... (edit: I don't mean spoil myself crazy, I mean things like some clothes that would fit me properly 🫣)

I had some savings for Arwen. It wasn't much, as since December 2023 I had been preparing for the move. I've used funds for the new home, as moving is never cheap, and you often need new things to make the new house your own.

Then Arwen got a bad ear infection, and that took out all the savings I had. I was desperate, as the bills kept coming. I had a GoFundMe and I got some great support form the community here! It greatly overwhelmed me, and I was so blown away with all the kindness.

The war infection seems to be under control. 😊 But during the cause of the treatment, we realized that Arwen was struggling a lot with pain due to arthritis. 😔 There are meds for this, so we tried them. And they really helped! But... They need to be administered every four weeks and they're not too cheap. 😢

Depending if she needs a checkup, the costs are between €80-€130 every four weeks...

I'm doing my best to make ends meet, and my mum is helping when she can... But I do need some money for some things, and saving is very hard when you have a disability income and the vet costs...

I try to live economically. Don't have the heating too high. Drive a small hybrid car. Not eating the most expensive foods (heck I don't even like those... 😉). But it's still hard to save and I do need certain things (like good prescription sunglasses and new shoes for Skoosh, and some new clothes could be nice as some are wearing thin 😔). None of this comes cheap...

So I'm swallowing my pride again, and I've set up the Ko-fi for support with Arwen. Every little bit would help me tremendously. I can't pay it forward money wise, but I always do my best to help people when I can! 🌹

Fankoos 🫶🏻 on behalf of Arwen 🐾 and myself . We'll be ever so grateful for all the support. Boosting is also very appreciated!

#DareToAsk #DogsOfMastodon #Labrador #Labradorable
#MutualAid #MutualAidRequest

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

I am finally writing an introduction post here, after joining a few days ago. I already tried to add some info in my bio, but let's see what I can share here...

I'm Cynni Pixy, which are nicknames, obviously. I'm in my 40's, living alone with my chocolate brown Labrador Arwen. She'll be 12 on July 15th this year. I've been in two long relationships, for a few years I had a poly relationship with both of them. Got married to one of them, but that didn't work out. Had a rough divorce and since then, I've been on my own (with Arwen), trying to have the best journey through life.

It has its ups and downs, as I'm dealing with both mental znf physical health issues. I'm an AuDHD Spoonie, with Fibromyalgia, Raynauds, and a fake hip (that needs a surgery later this year). I am on disability, as my issues prevent me from dealing with the working world. I've worked a lot till I couldn't, and had to drop out in May 2014.

I have been maintaining a blog since December 2019. I enjoy writing, but English isn't my mother's language, so I use simple words and make mistakes.

I have several FediVerse accounts, which should be linked in my profile (hope I did that right). I may use this account to boost toots from my other accounts, as I don't always have the spoons to write things more than once.

I enjoy things like gaming, but I'm really bad at it... So easy settings make things more enjoyable for me. I love watching telly and listening to music. When I can, I also can enjoy a good book. I try to be active and fit, but dealing with the fibro, and an eating disorder, makes things more challenging.

If anyone wants to know more, feel free to drop me a comment here!

Catch you all later!

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

#PixysJourney #Introduction