Expanding my FediVerse
The FediVerse is huge. So many bits that are connected in one way or another, all through the marvels of something called ActivityPub. Iโve joined my first bit of Fedi back in November โ22, when the whole of Twitter started to head to the shitter, excuse the languageโฆ
I joined Mastodon. I leaned about Mastodon and instances and all that. I made different accounts as my brain required to keep certain things separated. Which may be weird to some, it thatโs just how my brain wants itโฆ So I was active on Mastodon, and then I joined Pixelfed in February of 2024. I joined PeerTube later that year, and Iโve been trying out Loops. I tried a Sharkey instance, which is like Masto but with more options. And nowโฆ Iโve been trying out Friendica.
Some say itโs the FediVerseโs answer to Metaโs Facebook. But then, without the ads, without the algorithm, without the spam, and with the ability to connect to other FediVerse projects and also RSS.
As I started writing this post, Iโve been on the platform for several days. Iโve mostly been using the mobile site, which doesnโt have all the options that the desktop version offers. But changes made on desktop will transfer to mobile. For instance, I changed the theme and itโs colors when I used it on my laptop, and the next time that I used the phone, it showed me that these and those colors.
I started following my own FediVerse accounts first. And then I slowly started adding some friends. Most are on Masto, so they link through the ActivityPub bits. When I started on an instance that was high in the list of the index on the Friendica site, I didnโt know that the instance was having some issues every now and then with some downtime. But the admin was working on it. With the developers of Friendica, so I hoped that they would be able to resolve the downtime bits.
There are many options to have your Friendica become the social media style you want it to be. But as most options were needing to be set on a desktop, and I used my phone most, it took me some time to find out all the settings and options.
The first thing I noticed was, when people want to follow you, there are options like โfollow backโ or โhave them see your contentโ. So if that personโs profile isnโt showing you things youโre not interested in following, you can still allow them to follow you while you donโt have to see their content. There is an option called โcirclesโ, where you can add friends to different kind of circles. And then you can filter them out easily, or share things with just themโฆ I havenโt tried it all, as I write this, as I donโt have that many friends yet, so itโs all just still rather basic. ๐
I will need to log some more time on my laptop with Friendica to check out all itโs options. And, at the moment that Iโm wiring this, the instance often has issues starting in the night and it lasts a few hours. Itโs just my instance, probably because itโs a busy instance and they have no experience with that usage yet. But for now, I hope that they wil be able to fix it ASAP. Or Iโll need to ask for advice to find a new instance. And I have no idea what I can transfer. As on Masto, you canโt transfer your toots when you change instanceโฆ
Screenshot of my webapp of Friendica, showing part of my profile.
For those that would like to find me on Friendica, my profile is at: @[url=https://friendica.world/profile/pixy]๐ Cynni ๐[/url] I canโt find a weblink to my profile, only the Fedi type of link. But from most of the Fedi services, you should be able to find me using this profile name. ๐
If and when Iโve tried more of the service, Iโll share more with you all here!
Edit before this post went live: The instance I joined Friendica on, Friendica.world, has been having a lot of downtime during the night. As thatโs usually my busiest time, I found a second instance to make a back-up account. I would like to stay with the first one, but if they canโt resolve the issues, itโs a bit hard for me to really enjoy it. My back-up account can be found at: social.trom.tf/profile/pixy.
Thank you for your interest in my blog. I really appreciate your visit. If you like my posts and you want to share them on your social media, please, feel free to do so! Iโd be honored. If you donโt want to miss a thing, press the follow button (youโll need to be a signed in WP user) or scroll down and leave your email below this post. If you are a WP user and you would like me to know you liked my post, press the star/like button please. Thanks ever so much! Of course comments are welcome as well, but spam wonโt get shared, so donโt botherโฆ
Please be wise and stay safe! I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni ๐น

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cybervegan
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •My wife, who is currently undergoing an Autism assessment, is going through this with her identical twin sister right now. She desperate to "prove" that she's "normal" - says she can't be Autistic because x,y, and z "even if" my wife gets a positive diagnosis. Her husband (my brother-in-law) was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but I feel he's more than likely AuDHD; One of her sons appears to be pretty evidently Autistic, the other less so, but maybe is just better at masking. But they all exhibit some ND traits, to varying degrees - rigid routines/stress from changes; difficulties with social interaction; apparent meltdowns/shutdowns; special interests; IBS/digestive problems; survivors of bullying; dyspraxis; odd gait; Epilepsy; maybe some sensory issues... admittedly not *conclusive* (nor am I qualified to diagnose) but to me, as a diagnosed Autistic person, it seems pretty obvious.
But they see diagnosis as an entirely bad thing. ADHD is "ok" because there is medication that "fixes" it, but nothing of the sort for Autism, so they see Autism as wholly bad.
If my wife
... Show more...My wife, who is currently undergoing an Autism assessment, is going through this with her identical twin sister right now. She desperate to "prove" that she's "normal" - says she can't be Autistic because x,y, and z "even if" my wife gets a positive diagnosis. Her husband (my brother-in-law) was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but I feel he's more than likely AuDHD; One of her sons appears to be pretty evidently Autistic, the other less so, but maybe is just better at masking. But they all exhibit some ND traits, to varying degrees - rigid routines/stress from changes; difficulties with social interaction; apparent meltdowns/shutdowns; special interests; IBS/digestive problems; survivors of bullying; dyspraxis; odd gait; Epilepsy; maybe some sensory issues... admittedly not *conclusive* (nor am I qualified to diagnose) but to me, as a diagnosed Autistic person, it seems pretty obvious.
But they see diagnosis as an entirely bad thing. ADHD is "ok" because there is medication that "fixes" it, but nothing of the sort for Autism, so they see Autism as wholly bad.
If my wife gets a positive diagnosis, her sister will be even more desperate to prove she ISN'T.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to cybervegan • • •@cybervegan
My own theory is that there is a whole bunch of traits in the ND basket the diagnosis depends on which traits a person has and which ones are recognised. A person who is an accomplished masker might manage to avoid an autism diagnosis, if thatโs what they want.
And while meds can help some ADHDers, they donโt โfixโ all of the associated challenges. (Or negate the good stuff, thankfully.)
I also wonder whether RSD also motivates some to avoid recognising their own autism.
Iโm also aware that recently diagnosed/realised autists can start โseeingโ autistic traits in everyone, and that weโre not qualified to really know. But when there is diagnosed ND of some type in a family, thereโs bound to be more around, especially among older people.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to cybervegan • • •And while these things can be so trying for all of us, I feel very sad for your wife. Twin relationships are usually pretty special, and to have this issue come between them must be particularly upsetting.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
cybervegan
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to cybervegan • • •@cybervegan @fabienmarry
Oh thatโs good. Your wife sounds very โsensibleโ.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
cybervegan
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to cybervegan • • •@cybervegan @fabienmarry
Aaahโฆ presumably no ADHD then.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
cybervegan
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to cybervegan • • •Funny, Iโm envious, but OTOH, I do value some of my ADHD traits. Iโm a pretty low key AuADHDer, distractible rather than impulsive, and fairly sensible, but the emotional peaks & troughs can be a bit exhausting.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •likely, but not necessarily.
Thing is, not being Autistic is genetic too, everything is, so itโs true of Allism too, if thereโs one, thereโs likely more of them too, so I imagine any combination is as likely as any other.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama • • •Genetic allism. That made me laugh, but youโre right!
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
Unknown parent • • •I was a masker because whatever it was that made me different to so many other people, was just about me. It was my shame. So yes, realising that Iโm ND was a huge relief. I have no need to feel ashamed! But so many older people are so ignorant about ND & so it carries a huge stigma. I was pretty ignorant, but learned a lot as a teacher through my few experiences of teaching diagnosed ND students. That knowledge developed slowly & not to a high level, due to a lack of training & poor accomodations made in education, but it was more than most people my age.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Kevin Davy
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •Whilst most of us have probably always known that we were different and have perhaps been searching for the reason why. But it's a big leap to have to suddenly face that it might be entirely negative, at least from their point of view and especially as they may not feel that their life has been that bad.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Looking for explanationsโฆ
in reply to Kevin Davy • • •This particular person has left a stream of broken relationships in their wake. Their relationships with their adult kids are loving but always strained. They show signs of clinging onto their remaining friends, delaying the end of social occasions etc to hang onto that social contact. They can be draining to be with, because of their intensity.
If asked, Iโm sure they would say that theyโve had a โgood lifeโ, & in many respects they have. But itโs been such hard work. They are the perfect example of projection. Nothing is their โfaultโ.
I can see this because in many ways it reflects how I have been. I feel sad for them, because I get it.
ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.
Kevin Davy
in reply to Looking for explanationsโฆ • • •ActuallyAutistic group reshared this.