When women in the Netherlands turn 30, they get an invite from their GP to partake in an examination for cervical cancer. Then I got the invite, I just wasnโt up to it. My brain was full of other things and my stance was โI have to die of something, right?โ. I know itโs a grim look on things, but thatโs basically how my brain works. Also, I had just been dealing with hip surgeries in 2008, I had recovered and I was just living my life. It was a time where I thought my life was good, I had a decent enough life and I had other interests.
I got the invite again at age 35. I was just dealing with a lot of stress, as I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia the year before that, and things were messy with my work, or my not being able to work anymore. It was just another excuse of me not wanting to goโฆ It was just another reason of not having to deal with an examination like that. Plus I was kinda depressed on how my health had been declining, so somehow, I didnโt care about the cancer screeningโฆ
When I turned 40, I just had a bad divorce which resulted in a seriously bad depression. At the end of 2019, I was slowly recovering. If still not interested in getting tested โdown thereโ. I was afraid that it would hurt, still am. And I still believe that if I need to die, it will happen anyway. I donโt believe in God, but I do believe that my life will end at some point.
My parents are older. Dad is struggling with cancer. Mum has other health concerns. I donโt have any kids. I have some good friends, but many live far away. Iโve always said, that if I get too bad and I canโt live my life anymore, I want it to end peacefully on my terms. I donโt wanna be a burden on anyone. And, knowing I need another hip surgery this year, I already feel like Iโm a burden to others, as Iโll require help after thatโฆ ๐
So this year, I wonder if theyโll send me the letter again. And I wonder if this year, Iโll be brave enough to make an appointment to schedule the examinationโฆ But I just feel so blรคh, with knowing I need this hip surgery, and I guess I just donโt want to know if I have the cancer gene as wellโฆ
Many relatives had cancer. Many died from it. So I know the risks. Even though many of them did make it to a reasonable ageโฆ So yeahโฆ Letโs see how I feel, should I get the letter this yearโฆ
I know there are pros to taking the test. If I do have it, they could take the stuff out (itโs not like Iโm using the bits anyway, and I do experience the first Perimenopause symptoms), and I wonโt have to deal with all the issues that bad cancer can have on you. It could also mean that, if I would need a surgery now, Iโll need less care in the future. If that makes senseโฆ
But yeah, it also scares me. Iโm afraid of the discomfort in that area. Andโฆ What if I do have it? Another thing to deal with. More care that I need. And yeahโฆ Itโs just the fear of the test maybe revealing bad things. Besides the discomfort of the examination. ๐
So wellโฆ Wait and see what will happen. Will I get the letter? How will I be then, also with the upcoming hip surgery? I have no idea how that will goโฆ Maybe Iโll need antibiotics for my hip issues, and can that have any effects on the test, should I get the letter and take it? ๐ค
Letโs see how things will goโฆ One step at a time, one day at a timeโฆ
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Thanks ever so much ๐
๐ง๐ผโโ๏ธ
๐ฎ Pixy
Unknown parent • • •Hehe.... There are many and I definitely don't have *that* many.... (money always being a thing). But I do have some games that I would not mind trying again... ๐
๐ฎ Pixy
Unknown parent • • •Thanks!! I found out the "error"...
I last used the PS3 on wifi, and it was on lan now. But, I had not switched the internet settings yet. And the clock was set to "automatic settings through internet". As it could not connect to the web yet, it was wrong with the time. ๐ As soon as I changed the internet settings, the clock changed.
Fankoos ๐ซถ๐ป
๐ฎ Pixy
Unknown parent • • •It was an hour and two minutes off... But it had been off for a while due to the move. And I did hook it up, but I had lot flipped the on switch on the back yet. But once the internet was hooked on properly, it immediately went well!
Fankoos ๐ซถ๐ป again sweets! ๐ค