When I was living in the apartment, I always hoped that, one day, I would have a little house. No more upstairs and downstairs neighbors. No more stairs to head up with (heavy) groceries. A little garden perhaps. Some more space for all my stuff. I just hoped for a little place that would be my home till I was old and done with it all. I never imagined that my first trial of getting such a little house, would be a successful one! It really surprised me and it took quite some effort to get it all sorted when it happened. But now…
I have this little house. I have two little gardens that are full of weeds 😂 and that need caring… I have many walls that need paint. I have a stair case that could do with some paint as well. I had two weeks to get as much done as I could, and I barely managed to paint the downstairs area. Also, due to the extra layer of primer needed on the walls, it meant more work and waiting for paint to dry.
I got the keys on July 1st. My move days were the 13th and 14th. I could start working on the house on the 2nd. So I had even less than two weeks. Also, because they would come and do the floors on the 11th ans 12th. So yeah… It were crazy times!
I knew I could never get it all done in time. I knew that I needed to work on the house as the time went by. But, for me, it was most important to get most of the downstairs area done, as that would be my main living area (the bathroom and master bedroom are downstairs). But, I am planning on living here for a while, so I hope I’ll have some time to slowly make this house more my own. As much as a rental place can be “yours”, I guess.
But still… Every time I walk upstairs, there is this little voice inside of me saying “you have an upstairs now”. Every time I am there, I am seeing the extra space that I have now. And how I am slowly making my little dream of having a little house come true.
Every time I think these thoughts, there is a wee bit of happiness. But it also comes with some sadness. As I know I am going to need help to make the upper level better. I can’t do it all alone, how ever much time I give myself. And I don’t like asking for help. I hate that my friends, who have full-time jobs and all that, will need to spend their free time to help me, someone who has “all the time in the world”, because I don’t have the required abilities to do it by myself.
So it’s a really mixed bag of feelings. I got my little dream come true, on the first try. I got into a decent place, with some decent neighbors, with some space to feel at home. Of course there are things I wish I could do differently, better, more beautiful, more classy… But, it is as it is. And while we all thrive for perfection, I guess, I now that I can also accept it “being good enough for now”. And if anyone wants things to be done differently or better, well, they’ll be free to lend a hand and help me out… 😉
But yeah, walking upstairs, it still needs to sink in that I actually have a little upstairs. I have a guestroom where two people can sleep and still move their behinds without crashing into everything. I have a room with my fitness bits, except for the treadmill, as that one could not go up (unfortunately). I have a place where I, hopefully, can grow older and be happy. I got to share this with Arwen. She was one of the biggest reasons that I wanted to move to a small house instead of the (noisy) apartment… I am glad that she is here with me now, for as long as we’ll still have together… 🐾
I want to feel like it’s my house, but rational me always tells me that it’s not mine, as I rent it… So I am renaming it “my home” and that seems to help. I have a little home, with space for Arwen, myself, and my belongings. I have a roof over my head, some comforts that make daily life more pleasant, a little car that I love…
And still, every time I walk up those stairs, it just hits me… I have a little home… It’s not finished. It may not be all perfect. But, it’s good. I can afford some more heating these days, which is good for both me and Arwen. I have a dishwasher, which makes some things in life a lot better, especially when it comes to the wellfare of my hands and the cleanliness of things…
Bit by bit, I am hoping to make this house more of a home. And I hope that some good friends will be kind enough to help me with some of the things that I can’t do alone. I will need some more time than I initially planned/hoped, due to extra costs for Arwen and me needing another surgery. But, I can live properly in this place, an the things that need to be done aren’t necessarily needed to be more comfortable.
My little house. Not a noisy apartment with a small balcony and an annoying stairs. But a house, a home, for me and Arwen. And, it does feel good… 💜
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Joanna Holman
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in reply to Joanne Jacobs • • •@joannejacobs so cute watching them splash around in it
Joanne Jacobs
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in reply to Joanna Holman • • •It's such an awesome day out!!
My fella, Chip the chocolate Lab goes nuts over it.
Nearly Normal (=>÷)
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We get to go swimming whenever we want (which is quite often).
Looking for explanations…
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